Farewell South Africa

I’m leaving South Africa. I have many mixed emotions based on this fact. I had the most amazing time here, it’s something I will never forget.  Even though there were many rough times, I can easily say this really was one  of the best time of my life. I learned a lot, about myself and about others. The culture of Africa is so beautiful and the life here is amazing. It’s one of those places that keeps others coming back for more. Something about the culture, people and land is so intriguing and beautiful. I can't completely explain the magic that is Africa. So majestic, vivid, real and raw.

It’s amazing how much you learn about yourself and about others while living in a different country and how much you get to experience in such a short time. I can’t even describe how grateful I am for these times here. Tears are coming to my eyes now as I’m thinking of the past seven months. The friendships and the life that I have built here will be hard to leave, but I’m also excited to return to my life back home.  I’ve given so much of myself here, so much time and effort I can’t leave it without it affecting me.  I’ve given all of myself, and that’s hard to break away from, but it was worth it. Worth  the hard times, the money, the loneliness.   It was worth giving up my job for, and if I could do it all over again I would..

It’s time for me to say Goodbye to Africa, this wonderful country that I got the privilege to live in. Thank you for having me, I will never forget this place.  God bless you Africa!! 

Things I appreciate about SA

Things I appreciate about Johannesburg, South Africa

1. Being able to go out to dinner for hours without being rushed out
2. The friendliness of people
3. The slow pace of life
4. The Cheap prices of going out to eat
5. The beautiful landscapes
6.  The diverse culture, Rainbow Nation!
7. The wild animals
8. Affordable medical care
9. ACCENT
10. That it’s only cold two months out of the year
11. Water boilers (much faster than a kettle)
12. The  chocolates
13. The Chili Sauce
14. The way of life!
15. That everything is opposite from The U.S
16. Fish Pedicures
17. The hot weather

 Things I appreciate about California, US

1. Driers
2. Washing Machines
3. Street lights
4. Feeling safe at most places(with the exception of Oakland and the tenderloin in SF)
5. Mexican food
6. Honorable policemen who uphold the law
7. People who are no longer openly racist (At least the majority)
8. That I’m 45 minutes away from the Ocean
9. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
10. Toilet seat covers
11. Being able to go anywhere in the world
12. Chocolate Chip Cookies

30 more days in SA

I have exactly one month left in South Africa.  I really can’t  believe how fast this time has gone. It feels as if I have just arrived.  I relish the fact that I had an opportunity to spend 6 months in this beautiful country. I mean, not everyone gets a chance to do this!!  I’m going to soak up every minute that I have left here. I could have easily stayed here for another 5 months and been happy with it, but my time here is nearly up.  I know that I will be back here one day, but only after I’m married ;-) and there is a good reason for that just ask me if you would like to know.  

Teaching out in the communities is going really well, the children are learning more English, but they still have a long way to go. Six months ago they didn’t speak much English and they only understood a little. Children are like sponges, They learning so fast! . It was a huge challenge at first because they had no idea what I was saying, but now, at least they know the word "No" and they have learned to understand  basic English.  I’ve been teaching them English twice a week and it’s up to the teachers to continue with it during the rest of the week. It's been helpful for them to have support. The main problem we have been facing is that the the teachers need assistance in how to teach as well. The teachers can speak English but they were not teaching the children, manly because the were not really sure how to teach. The children are still really behind, it’s been a really slow process but there have been vast improvements.  I hope that they continue after I’m gone.

Sometimes it can be hard to go out in the communities because sometimes I feel so helpless. The other day I was out with Mama Julia in the communities and we found a mother who is severely handicapped and she has a two month old and a 6 year old. I’m pretty sure she has severe Autism and her six year old daughter does too. They're both non verbal and the mother has no clue how to take care of her two month old baby. She is feeding her pap, which does not have enough nutrients for a baby, she needs milk. She also gave the baby candy which she almost chocked on. Her friend was telling us that she had a 6 month old child that died because she does not have the skills to care for a infant. When we were visiting the mother was busy washing dishes and she did not recognize or acknowledge that  strangers were on her property!  The mother and her daughters are not getting the help they need, and obviously the mother has be raped as she is in no condition to give sexual consent and she is non-verbal.   South Africa does not have funding or support  for people with Autism who are not financially independent. We called welfare a few weeks ago and they finally came out this week and decided the children and the mother needed to be put in a home, so that’s really good news!  Many social workers don’t come out to the townships because there are so many cases they can’t get to all of them, sometimes the "poor" less fortunate families are ignored

The American Dream

The American Dream

He lives in a two story house with a pet mouse

With a shiny new car that he drives really far

Money is his honey

Living in a straw hut with her mutt,
She lives her life as a house wive,
Holding her husband tight every night.

He has the best because he wants to impress

He’s always longing for more belongings, flaunting his success even when he feels like a mess

But his debt will never be met.

She dreams of the house with that pet mouse

Picturing how happy she would be if they could fly there for free

“They must never worry, I wish I could get there in a hurry!”

He feels so much stress, he's really a mess

He has to overwork as a desk clerk

Life becomes blurry because he’s always in a hurry

He passed others by, forgetting to say “Hi”

And he wonders why he wants to cry

She tells her neighbors “Hi” every time she passes by

When life isn't fair she always has someone there

The love she shows can turn a frown upside down

Even though it may sound sappy, she is truly happy

She doesn’t have a lease but her life has peace

She is never rude even when she has no food

 

He eats too much food and is always in a bad mood

He only thinks about me and never invites his friends for tea
He was taught that it’s all about us,  and that makes him fuss
His attitude towards wealth is affecting his health

He hides that he feels empty inside

He think his new toy will give him joy

But he is left depressed with the rest.

She thinks the American dream is supreme,
She is blessed because she doesn't obsess when she has less,
She looks above and touches other with her love

She finds joy in her little boy and that is better than any toy

Even when she doesn’t have much she uses others as a crutch,
With them she doesn't have to hide the way she feels inside.
She is truly blessed

If he didn’t have so much stuff, soon enough, he would see that it’s not just about me
and that would make him free.



-Ashlee-

A Little Rest Is Good For The Soul

I love everything about the sea. The smell of fresh salt water, the sound of the crashing waves, the feelings of the warm breeze, the sand between my toes, and the taste of fresh seafood. Something about the beaches of Mozambique are exceptionally beautiful with an array of palm trees, clear water, white sand and an amazing culture. The Indian Ocean which borders Mozambique is warm enough to swim, even though it’s winter.

The purpose of my trip to East Africa was to see more of the country before I leave. The tour left from Johannesburg and went to Swaziland, Mozambique, Kruger National Park and then Back to Johannesburg in a total of two weeks.  I was traveling with 10 others who were my age and also traveling alone; for those two weeks we all became family. According to the tour guides not all the groups get along as well or became as close as our group did.

The villages of Mozambique seemed to be a lot more peaceful that the squatter camps of Jo’burg.  People live in straw huts in tiny villages. Many families have pigs and goats tied up nearby and donkeys are used to pull carriages. We passed crowded shops where people would carrying home live chickens and water buckets on their heads. We even passed a lady who was skinning a chicken for supper.  Our group found out quickly how corrupt the Mozambique police are. We were pulled over twice in a speed trap, but the speedometer they had was "broken" and read the same speed for everyone. Everybody was “speeding”. Once pulled over they would ask for your license and then tell you that if you wanted you license back you would have to pay them. Apparently there is not much to do in this situation other than pay them and they pocket the money. The police were standing outside laughing at they took everyone's money for themselves.

The highlight of the trip was when we took a sailboat trip to a beautiful Island where we went snorkeling. Apparently the Island is not visited by many people so it’s considered a 'sacred island.'

It was  wonderful seeing so many beautiful sights, crazy wild animals (including a lion in the wild) and being around many fun people. I came back feeling fresh, rejuvenated, and ready to go back to work at Refilwe.  It’s a good thing too because upon coming back there were a few tough situations to face.

Unlike the rest of Africa, South Africa does not have malnourished children. They may not always have a lot to eat, and it's not healthy but enough to keep from starving.  Very poor families can live off 'Pop' which is  basically like corn meal. It’s very cheap and has a lot of vitamins. There are no excuse for a little boy that Mama Julia found living with his parents in a township. He is 18 months but looks like he is about 5 or 6 months old. His body is retaining water so he cheeks are puffy and his stomach is sticking out so much it looks the size of a tennis ball. His skin is peeling and he has dark spots in various places on his body. His eyes are not properly developed and he has not started talking or crawling yet. His parents are always drunk and they forget to feed him properly so he is severely malnourished, to the point that if we didn’t find he would have been dead soon.  Julia says that the parents seem to be making an effort to feed him properly now that she is coming by everyday. The baby is still going to be taken to a hospital because his condition is so serious that he could become mentally handicapped.  Apparently after the baby is better they are going to return him back to the family, but unless the parent’s heal themselves from their addiction, I don’t think that’s the best choice for the child. They are incapable of caring for him at this point. It’s really sad seeing something that should have been prevented, and now this child is going to have to deal with the consciences of this for the rest of his life. He is already a year behind where he should  be and it might be too late for him to make a full recovery

Gone Overseas and It's Brought Me To My Knees

Gone Overseas and It’s Brought Me To My Knees

Gone overseas and it’s brought me to my knees,
Seen so  much hurting it’s really unnerving

Children living in shacks, poor mothers without any cash.
Drunk dads who mistreat and beat.
When parent’s drink the innocence of children shrink.
From one touch they grow up knowing too much

I know there is more to life because  Jesus paid the price.
He was the ultimate sacrifice.

She was walking alone and it wasn’t her choice, nobody could hear her voice.
Now she feels defiled and is about to have a child

He’s been around town and women think he’s a clown
Now he had HIV and feels he will never be free

The world had pain but it’s not in vain.
We nailed him to the cross to pay our cost.
A world that doesn’t care is not fair but regardless of what has been done,
His love will reach above.

All alone she gives birth feeling no self worth.
How can she care or her daughter when there is no father?
Without thinking twice she leaves her child alone with the mice.
Another unwanted kid who had to live and learn to forgive.


Disrespected and alone with no love shown, her wishes don’t matter when her husband's forcing  kisses
He shows her his power in the night hour
She hides her fright knowing what is going to happen tonight.


Jesus knows about pain because he was beaten to shame.
Rejected and alone he bled and hurt because of our dirt.
His blood cleanses away our mud.
He brings hope to help us cope.
He cares when nobody else dares
In our pain his love can be gained.

There is nothing to hid when we stand by his side.
His hands were pierced with nails, his love will never fail.
Grace covers our face regardless of how we’ve been a disgrace.

I fall on my knees saying please, show me how to love the way you’ve loved me.

I’ve gone overseas only to be brought to my knees.

Ashlee

Nobody Likes Inequality

 These past few days things have been getting better. There is another group here from Arkansas, and they have been really fun to hang around with. It's been so nice having company that understands! I would say that my time in South Africa goes up and down, but most days are looking up. SA is a really awesome country but it also faces many problems. Sometime I feel like I’ve gone back in time. Many of the issues that we have fought to change in America are still strong here today. Racism  still runs rampant here, the Apartheid only ended 21 years ago.  I was surprised to find out how recent this was, as racism laws in the Unites States ended way before I was born. Many of the white South Africans still view themselves as superior to the black Africans and don't always treat them with respect,( nobody at Refilwe of course).  It’s still very uncommon for whites and blacks to do things together, it’s an unspoken stigma. I remember on my first night here I was with Leah and Piet and the car tire went flat. We pulled over to fix it, when a lady came by and asked if Leah and I were okay because we were with a 'black boy'. Imagine her surprise when leah said "he's my husband!"

Another Issue here that I’ve noticed is the lack of respect for women. Although I do believe now that women have all the same rights as men,  they are still sometimes viewed as second class citizens, especially among the black South Africans, and especially in Johanneburg where sexual violence is ranked the highest in the world. Some of the men feel entitled. Even if it’s not to that extreme many of the African men still feel  they deserve to be treated a certain way, with no regard for how the women feels about it.

Despite the problems this country has. The people here are friendly and always ready to welcome you and accept you in. They have such a strong since of community and family.  People in America just pass by without even noticing the people around them. It's still sometimes a culture shock being in a place with massive poverty, when people in America deal with having too much, the more stuff they get the less happy they become. Every place has it's problems and issues and no country is perfect. Sometimes I do get upset with the way things are here and my heart does break for the people. It's really easy to complain about this or that when I've grown up with so much, never having to go without. Being here is about coming outside myself and really seeing what it's like for the people that live here. Even though it's not easy, I wouldn't have it any other way, this really is the best experience I could ever ask for.   

Mason

I have 4 more months left in SA, can I just come home now please? A part of me is entirely sick of this place. I’m tired of seeing suffering at every corner, fed up with women being regarded as second class and not being respected, sick of being stuck at Refilwe without my own car, and upset with the fact that I can’t even walk outside the gates alone. Something upsetting even took place this past week and I can feel it weighing me down. I do love SA, i'm just not feeling it at the moment.  A part of me just wants to run away, give up, and be done here, but I know that I can’t do that. I  must persevere even when things are difficult, but it's just so dang hard sometimes. Everything inside me is telling me to flee to the highest mountain, but I know that I can’t, and I won't. I can’t just give up when things are tough or when the enemy tries to stop me from fulfilling my purpose here. No matter how much I might want to; I can’t. Instead of giving up, I have to press on harder than before and not let any circumstance, no matter how angry it makes me, or how bad it might be, stop me from doing what I need to while I’m here.  Ugh. 

I remember a story I read on the news about a dog named Mason. Mason is  from Alabama and he got carried away in a horrible twister that destroyed his family’s house The family thought the dog had died, they looked everywhere for him with no success and he had been missing for 2 weeks.  Then, one day, they went back to their ruined house and saw their puppy dog waiting for them by the door. The dog’s two front legs were broken. Mason had crawled his way back to his family. Thinking of this story has really inspired me through this rough patch. Despite Mason’s unfair circumstances he didn’t give up. He fought through the pain of his broken legs, the freezing cold temperatures. and the exhaustion in order to achieve his purpose, which was finding his family. I’m sure he wondered ' Is this really worth it? Laying here to die would be so much easier!'  Maybe he thought his efforts were pointless, but still he pressed on. In the end it was worth it for Mason. Exhausted and famished he found his way to his family’s doorstep. I’m sure when he saw their smiling faces, all the work he put into getting home was worth it. He is now back with his family and when he recovers he will be stronger than ever. I think Mason can teach us a few things about perseverance and never giving up.. I know he has taught me.

Rainbow Nation

 I want to thank everyone who has been reading my blogs. Your comments  and many more emails have been really encouraging to me. It's nice to know that I have people who are willing to go along on this journey with me. 

Some of the Kids during movie night

I'm  sitting here enjoying a nice glass of wine with my roommate at a lodge down the road from Refilwe, we have been here a few hours and we both don’t want to go back, just yet.  My roommate came to Africa a month and a half after I did, and I wasn't sure how it was going to be living with an older lady. She is 67 years old. Honestly, at first, I was not thrilled with the idea. It’s not that I have anything against older people it’s just that living with them, well….. that's a different story. Part of my concern came with the fact that I love having the children/youth and friends over to my place for movie and game nights and I was afraid she wouldn’t be okay with this. What I have previously known of older people is that they like to go to bed early.  I could just picture her saying "No company past 6:00pm, no exceptions!"  But I was wrong, very wrong. I've been living with her 7 weeks now and she stays up later than I do, cooks delicious food, welcomes any company that I have, and is becoming a good friend of mine. As much as I hate stereotypes I  guess I do fall guilty of them from time to time.

 This past weekend I went to Africa Abalze to help Leah and Piet with a career camp during the weekend. Even though I’m now exhausted I’m glade I was at the camp. An organization sponsored a 100 teenagers from rural areas to come to the camp. We had guest speakers come in to talk about their definition of success.  For most of these kids it was a great opportunity for them as many of them were encouraged to never give up regardless of the hardships that come their way. Many of these kids come from backgrounds of poverty and broken families and they realized that it is up to them to make a change to do things differently for their future and their future families. Some of the things that were taught were to never give up, don’t let hardships stop you from pursuing your goals, and to get anywhere in life we need to be able to work hard. I think that these teenagers left encouraged and excited for their future.

Making Worm Tea

Things at Refilwe are going very well. We have a YWAM group that is here for a few weeks and it’s been nice having them around. The projects that we have been working on around Refilwe are the Worm Farm and the Tree Nursery. Refilwe sells the worm tea as fertilizer in hopes that they can become self sufficient. Previously Refilwe was relying on donations but because of the declining economy they are coming up with ways of making income for their ministry. I have really enjoyed doing work outside in the worm farm and tree nursery and it’s nice to have a break from people.

I now have an African name that people are starting to call me. It’s Lerato which means love.  They wanted to give me an African name because they say that 'even though i'm white on the outside i'm African on the inside.'

 Oh Africa, I only have 4 more months left in this wonderful country but the things that i'm learning and the growth that is happening I hope will last a lifetime. In the future I know that short term missions will be a part of my life and that I hopefully will get to travel to different parts of the world, but living in a different country is an opportunity that I might never get again.  I love traveling and living in different countries and experiencing their culture.  I’m thankful that God has given me this chance to live with the people of Africa.  

Being here has made me realize the important things in life and what I want from it.  It’s interesting how going 10,000 miles away really shows you who your true friends are, the ones who are still there to encourage you and support you in your decision, and sometimes even the friendships that matter draw closer. "Side by side or miles apart, true friends stay close to your heart.” 

On the Rise

“The Lord has become my fortress, and my God is the rock in whom I take refuge.” Psalm 94:22

South Africa. The land of brokenness, miracles, and natural beauty. The land with hurting people, where time slows down, where “love your neighbor” reigns. The land where God's love and beauty is reveled.

Being here at this point in my life is the best thing I could ask for. It's a time for reflection and growth. Two months ago I had no idea what to expect coming to South Africa.  I had no idea I would get homesick and want to take that horribly long flight back home. I never expected to learn things about myself I never knew. I thought this trip was about helping others, but in turn it’s been helping me.

God is molding and shaping me. I know this is my time away from my family, my  friends and my life to figure a few things out and to become everything God has created me for. I sometimes feel a since of restlessness because my time in South Africa is going by so fast and I don’t want to waist any time while I’m here. I’ve found things in myself I want to change and things that I like and want to do more of.  I also find myself feeling restless for the future. Since I’ve been in South Africa I’ve discovered that I would love to adopt a child from a 3^rd world country along with having a few of my own, that I want to work in ministry, and that I want to learn to speak Spanish fluently. 

In my restlessness I’m reminded of Psalm 25:5

“Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; For you I wait all day.”

 I know when restlessness creeps up on me I need to be patient and to wait on God. I need to wait on him to lead me, to teach me, and to guide me. Sometimes in our stillness we learn the most. We learn to trust God and to be content with the unknown. We don’t have to have all the answers because after all we are not the ones in control. 

Kittens

4/28
The other day there was a baby kitten that was meowing outside my house. The neighbors found him.  He was only a few weeks old and was abandoned by it’s mother. What can I say? I love animals so I couldn't just let it die! So I took it in. It's now doing really well and is going to survive. Tonight I found another baby kitten that was nearly dead. I rushed him to the neighbors house and they gave me a bottle and some kitten formula. The little kitten wasn't swallowing and he has no energy at all. I spent hours warming him up and attempting to feed him a little. After a while it seemed he was getting better, he was lifting his head and meowing. I held him close hoping he would survive and keep warm. After an hour he wasn't moving as much. As soon as I went to the kitchen to get water he started meowing loudly. I went back and he was dead.  I was so shocked and upset, it really seemed like he was getting better, but it was too late. It doesn’t seem fair, but life isn’t always fair. I’m emotionally drained and exhausted from putting all of my energy into trying to save this little thing.  At least he wasn't alone for the last few hours of his little life.

Life is like that. It’s full of disappointments and failures but it’s how we deal with those disappointments that matter.  We can sulk in self pity and complain that life is hard and that things never work out for us, or we can accept what comes our way, even if it’s not what we wanted. After all, it’s during the hard times that we grow and learn the most. Tomorrow morning I will bury my kitten.

Today one of the site workers at Refilwe found another kitten, probably from the same litter. He was feeding it regular milk, which is bad for kittens.  He asked me to take. Of course I couldn't say no, I would hate for it to die. I think I've already found a home for her but I will be watching her until she goes to her new home. So i'm babysitting a little kitten, and it's like taking care of a little baby, she keeps me up at night and she is hungry every few hours. Every time I put her down she looks at me and meows for me to pick her up. It's difficult getting anything done while i'm holding her, which is all the time, so I came up with a solution to this. I tied her to my stomach with a towel. African ladies tie their babies against their back with a towel, so I thought I would give it a try, and it works great. She seems really content being there. Those African ladies know what's up!

Here is a tired picture of me with my adopted baby.

Cooking a Goat and Playing with Lions.

The weather is now starting to get cold here as winter approaches. The warm weather didn’t seem to last long enough but I arrived at the end of summer.

This last weekend one of my friends took me to his family's funereal celebration for his cousin that passed away 6 months ago. Wow! This was truly and African experience! When someone dies, there is 4 months of mourning. During this mourning period the mother of the person who died can’t leave the house and she can’t change her clothes. She can wash her clothes at night, but she has to wear the same ones for 4 months. Then after the mourning period is up, there is a cleansing celebration, which is what we went to. This celebration is the end of the mourning period. During this celebration they bought a live goat, slaughtered it and then got it ready for the feast. By the end of the day the entire goat must be consumed. The intestines the heart, the head, the feet, everything must be eaten! Nothing goes to waist. They use the fur to make a coat or a mat.

 During the celebrations the women were in the kitchen cooking the goat for themselves and the men were outside cooking their meat over the barbeque. The men don’t go cook in the kitchen and the women don’t barbeque. So when I got there I was put to work cooking goat feet and goat head. The goat meat was actually very delicious and the day was spent cooking and dancing.

The people there said it was good luck for them to have a 'white girl' come to their party. It’s very unusual for a white person to be in a township hanging around with the' black people', but  it’s a great experience to spend time with people from a different culture. White snobs are missing out. The people were  so open and welcoming; they really are the friendliest people that I’ve ever met. It’s been a lot of fun living here and being involved in their way of life.

Yesterday, I finally got to see African wildlife and I got to play with baby lions. My roommate and I went with a friend, who drove us to a nearby lion park.  It’s truly amazing being so close to such beautiful creatures and watching them in their natural habitat. The park had Leopards,  White Lions, Hyenas, Zebras and Giraffes, and it didn’t cost hardly anything to get in. The baby lions were very sleepy because it was the middle of the day, but it was fun to be near them and to pet them.   

Wow, I can’t believe I’ve already been here a month!  The time has flown by so fast! I’m already feeling at home here and I feel blessed that I get to experience life and the people of Africa. The work I’m doing teaching English  in the townships is keeping me so busy that by the time Friday comes i’m exhausted.

I'm really enjoying the work i'm doing. Going into the townships at first was scary. I didn't know the people or the area.  Now I feel at home and comfortable, but of course, can never be alone. Nobody bothers us
(except for the occasional cat call)  because they know we are here to help. They respect us and  enjoy it when we come to help out.  Lately I have been going with Mama Julia to a township called Tavern Becky to hang out with HIV/AIDS patients.   Happy, one of the ladies we work with who has Aids was about to die when Julia found her.  Julia gave her ARV"S ( medication to help manage Aids)  and now she is so much healthier and stronger. Happy now helps Julia out in the communities and comes along to translate for us. She is such a great lady who is filled with so much joy and compassion for the people in her community. The stories of many of these people’s lives are so sad and filled with so much pain. Julia has seen people go into deep depression and alcoholism after discovering they are sick with Aids. She does free testing for them, and the news is not always good.  Since Julia has been going to Tavern Becky, many people have turned their lives to Christ, and this has given their life so much meaning. Instead of clinging to drinking and depression they decide to cling to Jesus for their comfort.  Julia has witnessed first hand the changes God has made in the lives of those that accept him. They stop drinking and they start helping others, which it empowers them because they are no longer victims of their circumstances.  What I love about Refilwe is that they teach people how to thrive on their own. They don’t continually pass out food or give them things because that will teach them to rely on others to give them what they need. Refilwe teaches them how to do things for themselves so they can become self sufficient. They teach them skills such as gardening, sowing and other crafts

"If you give a man a fish he will be fed for the day, but the next day he will be hungry. If you teach a man to fish he will never go hungry and hopefully he will teach his brother to fish as well" 

Africa is filled with so many problems with no easy solutions.  One thing I have noticed is that drunk driving is not taken seriously.  I have been here a month and have already come across a couple drunk drivers. The cops are so busy dealing with violence it seems that drunk driving is left on the back burner. The cops are also so corrupt that you can bribe your way out of a DUI.
  One evening, I was sitting outside on my porch with a friend and I noticed a lady driving by on the lawn with her trunk open. She was driving slow but jerky. A few second later she crashed into my neighbors clothes line, shattering her car window. She then backed up and ran into a tree, and then kept going! Eventually she stopped the car. A few of us ran out there, and sure enough, she was drunk.  We didn’t let her drive, but nobody called the cops because apparently police officers don’t come out to Refilwe at night. Kind of sketch if you ask me! The next day we found out how she made it past the gates. The security guard let her in because she said she was here to see Jaco. Jaco is the name of the director at Refilwe, but she wasn't here to see him, Jaco, is also the name of  her boyfriend. She thought she was driving up to his apartment.  She was too drunk to notice she wasn't at his place.  There are no houses around or near Refilwe, it's empty farmland, and she ended up here.  She only got through security and wasn't turned awa, because there was someone here with the same name as her boyfriend. The way she was driving I can’t believe she even made it to Refilwe alive. If she got turned away at the gate she would have kept driving and who knows what would have happened. Killed someone? Killed herself?  Hmm a coincidence? I think not. 

A couple days after this incident, my buddy Abel was kindly walking with me to a nearby pool.  I came across another drunk lady that had been driving.  On our walk  we saw a lady stuck in a ditch on the side of the road. When we went to help her out I first noticed she seemed  very frazzled, I then noticed the smell of alcohol.  She also had bloody scratches on her body. Inside her car was open beer and a blood soaked napkin. I asked her if she was alright, and she told me she was running away from an abusive x-boyfriend, which explained all the blood. She didn’t need or want anything other than to get her car out of the ditch as quickly as she could.  A nearby worker was driving a fork lift, so he came and pulled her out of the ditch. Ghetto style!  Well at that point we had to let her drive drunk. I could not keep her against her will, and if I did i'd feel terrible if her ass boyfriend found her.  She gave me a  hug and said she would be on her way.
 Oh Africa, what to do with you?. In the states it's so much easier. If you see a drunk driver you call 911, simple as that. Here they will just ask for a bribe and let her drive off the road into a ditch.

The worker in the forklift gave us a ride to the pool after that. I can't say i've ever been in a forklift before. I never know what to expect next!  

On a lighter note, I’ve been learning to speak a few Soto words. My goal is to try to be able to speak conversational Soto before I leave, but it’s very difficult and I don’t think I will meet that goal.  I can now say Hi, How are you, how was you’re day, I’m fine, No, Thank You, good night and you too.  There are 7 languages that are spoken here but many people can understand a little of each. The worker guys here have been teaching me how to speak it, but it's hard! My mouth does not move that way.  

Here are pictures at Refilwe with a few of the kids on site

Wow, I can’t believe I’ve already been here a month, the time has flown by so fast! I’m already feeling at home here and I feel blessed that I get to experience life and the people of Africa. The work I’m doing teaching English and going in the communities is keeping me busy by the time Friday comes i’m exhausted, but in a good way.

At first when I went out into the townships I was afraid because I didn’t know the people. Now when I go into the townships I feel comfortable. Nobody bothers us because they know we are there to help, so they respect us and they enjoy it when we come. Lately I have been going out with Mama Julia to a township called Tavern Becky to help with HIV/AIDS patients.  Happy, on of the ladies we work with who has AIDS was about to die when Julia found her.  Julia gave her arv's and now she is so much healthier and stronger. Happy now helps Julia out in the communities and comes along to translate for us. She is such a great lady who is filled with so much joy and compassion for the people in her community. The stories of these people’s lives are so sad and filled with so much pain. Julia has seen people go into deep depression and alcoholism after discovering they have AIDS.  Since Julia has been going to Tavern Becky, many people have turned their lives to Christ, and this has given their life so much meaning. Instead of clinging to drinking and depression they decide to cling to Jesus. After making that commitment Julia has seen some of these people’s lives change for the better.  They stop drinking and they start wanting to help others. The focus is not longer on themselves and their illness but on other people, which helps with depression.  What I like about Refilwe is that we teach people how to thrive on their own. We don’t continually feed them or give them things because then they will learn to rely on us.  Instead we teach them how to make a garden so they can grow their own food and how to bead so they can sell their items.    If you give a man a fish he will be fed for the day, but the next day he will be hungry. If you teach a man to fish he will never go hungry and hopefully he will teach his brother to fish as well

Africa is filled with so many problems with no easy solutions.  One thing I have noticed is that drunk diving isn’t taken as seriously as in America. I have been here a month and have already come across a couple drunk drivers. The cops are so busy dealing with violence it seems that drunk driving isn’t noticed. One evening, I was sitting outside on my porch with a friend and I noticed a lady driving by on the lawn with her trunk open. She was driving slow but jerky. A few second later she crashed into my neighbors close line shattering her car window. She then backed up and ran into a tree, and then she kept going! Eventually she stopped the car. A few of us ran out there, and sure enough, she was drunk.  We didn’t let her drive, but nobody called the cops because apparently police officers don’t come out to Refilwe at night. It was interesting how she got in because at night our gates are locked and the security guard has to let us in. He let her in because she said she was here to see Jaco- her boyfriend. The directors name here at Refilwe is also Jaco. She was too drunk to notice that this wasn’t her boyfriends house. There are no houses around Refilwe so she must have been way lost and the place she happened to end up was at Refilwe’s gates, where she got let in because there is someone here with the same name as her boyfriend. By the way she was driving I can’t believe she even made it to Refilwe alive but it’s good she did because we didn’t let her drive anymore.  I don’t think her coming here was a coincidence at all.

Then, a few days later I came across another drunken lady that had been driving.  On Saturday I was walking to a swimming pool with a friend when we saw a lady stuck in a ditch on the side of the road. When we went to help her out I noticed she seemed frazzled and a little drunk. She also had bloody scratches on her body. Inside her car was open beer and a blood soaked napkin. I asked her if she was alright, and she told me she was running away from an abusive x-boyfriend- which explained all the blood. She didn’t need or want anything other than to get her car out of the ditch. A nearby worker was driving a fork lift, so he came and pulled her out of the ditch. The workers noticed she was drunk and they started to talk to her about it and she started crying, we knew she wasn’t going to be driving anytime soon with the workers there, so that’s when we hitched a ride with the forklift to the swimming pool. I never know what to expect next.

On a lighter note, I’ve been learning to speak a few Soto words. My goal is to try to be able to speak conversational Soto before I leave, but it’s very difficult and I don’t think I will meet that goal.  I can now say Hi, How are you, how was you’re day, I’m fine, No, Thank You, good night and you too.  There are 7 languages that are spoken here but many people can understand a little of each but i'm just picking one to learn.  My friends here have been teaching me how to speak it and I also have been picking up some words when I work in the tree nursery because some of the guys speak it. 

Here a couple pictures with 

Here is a picture at Refilwe with a few of the kids on site. 

South African Dance

Refilwe Tour

Frogs, Bats and Spiders…Oh my!

The Spider on my porch

The Bat in my Room

Don’t get me wrong, I love nature. I think that God’s creations are wonderful. Every insect and animal has a purpose. I don’t have anything against frogs and I honestly don’t mind spiders. It’s amazing how spiders create silk to spin their web.  Bats are awesome because they eat mosquitoes. These creatures are wonderful if they are where they are supposed to be, which is outside. No they are not meant to be in my bedroom or in my shower. What is it that these creatures want from me? Why do they insist on coming inside?  I was sitting in my bedroom about to go to sleep when I heared a rustling sound. I looked around but I didn’t see anything, then I heared the sound again. The snake story told by the previous volunteer came racing to my mind. She had a snake behind the couch in THIS house. The snakes here are nothing to mess with, many are very poisonous. I was positive it was a cobra slithering it’s way up my bed, when all of a sudden a bat came flying through a small hole in the wall. It nearly got tangled in my hair as it frantically flew back and forth around my bedroom.  My roommate and I watched from afar not sure how to capture it.  We tried many things to get it out, from screaming outside to hiding in the bathroom and nothing worked! After many long minutes of debating we decided we needed to call in her boyfriend, the other volunteer next door. Of course he captured the bat in 10 second flat, but by the time he came over, the bat was so tired from being blinded by my light and listening to us scream that he was sleeping on my wall. We kindly sent him on his way and told him he will be happier outside. Apparently, the unruly bat told his friends where I live, because the other day I was getting into the shower and I nearly stepped on a large green frog. Before sending him on his way, I told him as nicely as I could, that he should tell his friends to knock first. These unexpected visits are very inconvenient. I think he passed on the message because I haven’t seen any creatures in a while.  I do have a large spider that made a home on my porch but he has been very polite and is keeping his distance from my house. I think we have an understanding that I won’t go into his house if he doesn’t go into mine.

If you want to see pictures of South Africa go to http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=514138014

A Video

Here is a video. I have a few more but they take so long to Upload I will upload more shortly!

Learning to drive on the opposite side.....

Learning how to drive here in South Africa has been interesting and a little difficult. The steering wheels are on the right side of the car and they drive on the opposite side of the road. Everything is backwards from what i'm used to.  Tondi, one of the Godparents asked if I would drive her to the market . Since i've been here, I have discovered that a lot of African people don't have their drivers license. The reason many don't is because of the corruption.   I've heard stories of many people failing their driving test up to 15 times before they give up. Getting a license here isn't about being a good driver and passing the test, it's about bribing the person giving you the test. You can be a horrible driver and get your license if you pay enough. On the flip side you can be a great driver and fail because you didn't offer them a bribe.  Many of the Godparents living at Refilwe have a car, they just can't legally drive it.

Driving on the opposite side of the road wasn't so bad,  it sounded a lot harder than it was.  I just  had to constantly think about what I was doing. Luckily I had Tondi in the car to make sure I was on the correct side of the road.:)  I thought I was doing pretty good actually, until I drove into a pot hole causing the tire to become flat. The pot hole jumped out at me somehow :) The roads here are not maintained, bumps and pot holes are everywhere. it's like playing a game of frogger but instead of swerving around cars you're swerving around pot holes!! I'm not sure if they will let me drive again but they were gracious and understanding about the tire. They wouldn't let me pay for the repair because they said it could happen to anyone. Hopefully next time I drive, it will turn out better!!

Little Orange

 I hate the feeling of loneliness, but I knew I would experience it being so fare away from everyone and everything. I'm in a whole new world, and it will just take time to adjust. I'm thankful Leah and Piet are here; they are truly a blessing.  A volunteer who was here for 6 month  just left the other night, and everyone was very sad to see her go. She had built some great friendship while she was here.  Abel, a new friend of mine, said to me the night the volunteer left " I don't want to get too close to you, because then you're just going to leave." He was very close to the volunteer and it was hard on him to see her go. It must be hard for the people living and working here at the orphanage.  People come in and out of their lives. But they also get the chance to meet awesome people from all over the world.

Refilwe is a great place to live.  I’m living on 72 acres with a large river that divides the property. Lately I have just been sitting out on the grass by the  beautiful trees and reading my bible. I’ve heard that  monkeys live here, but I have yet to see one.  I was just spending a lovely afternoon  at one of the Godparents house, Mama Julia, when I discovered the internet was down today. I was hoping to connect with people from back home.

Loneliness comes and goes but it never stays for very long.  There is nothing here to distract myself from those feelings so I just allow myself to be, and then shortly after it will vanish. All it takes is a conversation with someone, or a friendly hello, and then I feel at peace again. I know i'm here for a reason, knowing that helps.  I'm learning to accept negative feelings because they are only temporary. . Piet was telling me that the mission field can be lonely and hard, but that is when we grow the most and when we learn the most about ourselves.

I've made a cat friend, I call him Little Orange.  I'm not sure who he belongs to but he wanted to come into my cottage last night, so I let him in. Shortly after I let him in, it started storming and gushing rain. The last time I saw it rain that hard was when I was in the tropical rain forest of Belize. It's almost as if the heavens opened up a giant waterfall. The storm itself was very relaxing, I love hearing the sound of rain.

 I like having little orange around.  I assume the feelings are mutual because he follows me everywhere I go. I guess he has been feeling a little lonely also.

Just thinking...

When I came to South Africa I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I know that my heart is going to break more time than I can count....

Twice a week I go into the townships by taxi with an African Godparent named mama Tondi.  I'm going to teach English to the children in preschools through songs and games. When I first entered a township I was suprised by what I saw as I wasn't sure what to expect.  Rows of  one bedroom shacks crammed together with no water or electricity..  Men often walk the streets drunk, stray sickly looking dogs lay around biting off flies, garbage scattered around the shacks, and children run around with holes in their shoes. Even though English is one of South Africa's primary languages, most of the children in the communities don't speak it. Tondi told me that most of these kids and their families never leave the township so many of them have never been exposed to the white culture of South Africa. Oh the white skin, that's something really special to them as 'white people' very rarely visit townships. As soon as I walked into the preschool the children began to chant in Zulu 'white person, white person, white person' with huge grins on their faces, pushing each other aside to be near to me. What a special encounter to see a white person! If they only knew :)

The preschool has 35 children in one tiny shack.  There is no running water so children go outside to pee and pop into buckets. The preschoolers doesn't have any books or supplies.  Refilwe is supporting five preschools in the area and they are providing supplies for them.

After talking with one of the teachers at this preschool,  I got a feel for the daily struggles of the people and the dangers poverty brings upon these children. Townships in Johannesburg are dangerous. Brimming the streets are drunk men, thiefs who have learned not to care and just to steal, hurting, broken people who turn to alcohol to numb the pain of poverty or abuse that has been inflicted on them.  It's the parent responsibility to protect their children, but when they're drunk, passed out, or always at work, they can't protect their children. Despite having less, the kids are joyful, curious, trusting and sweet.

Mama Maria, a\ teacher at the preschool found out I have a degree in Psychology and that's when she told me about a little girl in her preschool who is 7 years old..  She asked if I could do play therapy with her because when she was 3 years old her uncle raped her.  Her mother found out the uncle has hurt her when the little girl started crying and acting fearful whenever her uncle was around.  Her mom took her to the doctor and found out what had happened and the uncle admitted to doing it. According to Mama Maria she had the option to send the man to jail, but she didn't. She was more concerned about keeping a good relationship with her brother, (which is valued in their culture) over  protecting her daughter. He still comes around but she isn't left alone with him. Whenever he comes around Mama Maria can tell because the little girl starts acting up at school.

Mama Tondi informed me that in the the poor townships, rape of children is very common. Everybody lives so close together and family members, friends and people from the communities go in and out of each other's houses.  When a parents passes out drunk a pedophile friend has an opportunity. The children also run around the community unsupervised opening  them up to many other dangers.

There is also a belief among the uneducated in South Africa  that by raping a child you will cure yourself of HIV.  The witch doctors are responsible for spreading this belief.  Many of these people in these communities(townships)  would prefer to go to a witch doctor than to a real doctor, even though you can go to free clinic and get free medical care. The medical care in South Africa is actually better than the states and it's cheaper. Going to a witch doctor is family tradition or a belief in their religion, but whatever it is, it's evil. 

After spending the day in a township we taxi back to Refilwe, the beautiful safe farmland that will be my home for the next 7 months.  About 5 minutes from Refilwe is the township, 5 minutes in another direction is  shopping malls, movies, pizzerias, markets and  beautiful  houses. The houses all have bars over the windows and doors which takes away from some of the beauty. Johannesburg is' rape and crime capitol of the world'.  I know that by the time I leave here, I will have a broken heart. I don’t think hearing horrible stories is really something I ever want to get used to hearing, or something I want to shrug off.  I feel things deeply which can be good but can also be hard.  God is the only thing I have to cling onto and there is peace in knowing that.  When looking at the big picture, all my worries really seem silly compared to how it could be. How can I complain about this or that when people are starving and living in shacks with no running water. I really have nothing to complain about, but to appreciate what I have rather than what I don’t. I’m learning more and more to set my mind in the present instead of living in the past or in the future. When I wake up I want to think, what am I thankful for today? I have a lot to be thankful for, I really can’t complain. 

I'm here!

I have arrived safely in South Africa and i'm ecstatic  the long plane ride is over! I just got to my ministry site Refilwe. Before that I was enjoying a few days with my dear friends Leah and Piet.  It’s a little surreal being here. 7.5 months ago I decided to come to South Africa, and after all the planning, I’m finally here! The people here are very helpful and friendly and the weather is nice and warm. I spent a few days with Leah and Piet and helped them with their ministry. Part of their ministry is going into the poor schools to dance, sing songs and teach a bible lesson during the public school assemblies. It was fun and a little scary getting up in front of the whole school with Leah and Piet and attempting to dance and sing their songs, but they didn’t seem to mind that I had no clue what I was doing. It was amazing seeing these children, even the ones in kindergarten, enthusiastically dancing and singing songs of praise to Jesus.

Now I’m at Refilwe and I’m excited to discover what I will be doing while I’m here. They are giving me the weekend to recover from Jet lag before starting work, but it hasn’t been too hard for me to adjust. I was so busy with Piet and Leah I’m looking forward to a relaxing weekend. The internet here is slow and I haven’t been able to get the wireless to work, but I will write again when I can!  

The time is near...

Four days until I fly to S.A and in five days I'll  be in Johannesburg. I’ve gone through a mixture of emotions as the time draws near. Up until now I have felt nothing but excitement for what is ahead, but as it gets closer I also have fear of the unknown.  As much as I want to go, I also don’t want separate from my friends and family, even if it’s only for seven months. I have no idea the challenges, people and experiences I will face, which is part of the excitement and fear.  God is putting me in a place where I must have complete trust and reliance on him.  Even though everything will be changing around me in a few days I can rest in peace knowing God's love endures forever and that he will never leave me.

“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken and the nor my covenant of peace be removed” Says the LORD Isaiah 54:10 

Ticket

I have just bought my ticket for South Africa, and I will be leaving on Feb 28th! I'm super excited to see this all coming together! Thanks again for those of you who supported my trip, I couldn't do this without you!