Just thinking...

When I came to South Africa I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I know that my heart is going to break more time than I can count....

Twice a week I go into the townships by taxi with an African Godparent named mama Tondi.  I'm going to teach English to the children in preschools through songs and games. When I first entered a township I was suprised by what I saw as I wasn't sure what to expect.  Rows of  one bedroom shacks crammed together with no water or electricity..  Men often walk the streets drunk, stray sickly looking dogs lay around biting off flies, garbage scattered around the shacks, and children run around with holes in their shoes. Even though English is one of South Africa's primary languages, most of the children in the communities don't speak it. Tondi told me that most of these kids and their families never leave the township so many of them have never been exposed to the white culture of South Africa. Oh the white skin, that's something really special to them as 'white people' very rarely visit townships. As soon as I walked into the preschool the children began to chant in Zulu 'white person, white person, white person' with huge grins on their faces, pushing each other aside to be near to me. What a special encounter to see a white person! If they only knew :)

The preschool has 35 children in one tiny shack.  There is no running water so children go outside to pee and pop into buckets. The preschoolers doesn't have any books or supplies.  Refilwe is supporting five preschools in the area and they are providing supplies for them.

After talking with one of the teachers at this preschool,  I got a feel for the daily struggles of the people and the dangers poverty brings upon these children. Townships in Johannesburg are dangerous. Brimming the streets are drunk men, thiefs who have learned not to care and just to steal, hurting, broken people who turn to alcohol to numb the pain of poverty or abuse that has been inflicted on them.  It's the parent responsibility to protect their children, but when they're drunk, passed out, or always at work, they can't protect their children. Despite having less, the kids are joyful, curious, trusting and sweet.

Mama Maria, a\ teacher at the preschool found out I have a degree in Psychology and that's when she told me about a little girl in her preschool who is 7 years old..  She asked if I could do play therapy with her because when she was 3 years old her uncle raped her.  Her mother found out the uncle has hurt her when the little girl started crying and acting fearful whenever her uncle was around.  Her mom took her to the doctor and found out what had happened and the uncle admitted to doing it. According to Mama Maria she had the option to send the man to jail, but she didn't. She was more concerned about keeping a good relationship with her brother, (which is valued in their culture) over  protecting her daughter. He still comes around but she isn't left alone with him. Whenever he comes around Mama Maria can tell because the little girl starts acting up at school.

Mama Tondi informed me that in the the poor townships, rape of children is very common. Everybody lives so close together and family members, friends and people from the communities go in and out of each other's houses.  When a parents passes out drunk a pedophile friend has an opportunity. The children also run around the community unsupervised opening  them up to many other dangers.

There is also a belief among the uneducated in South Africa  that by raping a child you will cure yourself of HIV.  The witch doctors are responsible for spreading this belief.  Many of these people in these communities(townships)  would prefer to go to a witch doctor than to a real doctor, even though you can go to free clinic and get free medical care. The medical care in South Africa is actually better than the states and it's cheaper. Going to a witch doctor is family tradition or a belief in their religion, but whatever it is, it's evil. 

After spending the day in a township we taxi back to Refilwe, the beautiful safe farmland that will be my home for the next 7 months.  About 5 minutes from Refilwe is the township, 5 minutes in another direction is  shopping malls, movies, pizzerias, markets and  beautiful  houses. The houses all have bars over the windows and doors which takes away from some of the beauty. Johannesburg is' rape and crime capitol of the world'.  I know that by the time I leave here, I will have a broken heart. I don’t think hearing horrible stories is really something I ever want to get used to hearing, or something I want to shrug off.  I feel things deeply which can be good but can also be hard.  God is the only thing I have to cling onto and there is peace in knowing that.  When looking at the big picture, all my worries really seem silly compared to how it could be. How can I complain about this or that when people are starving and living in shacks with no running water. I really have nothing to complain about, but to appreciate what I have rather than what I don’t. I’m learning more and more to set my mind in the present instead of living in the past or in the future. When I wake up I want to think, what am I thankful for today? I have a lot to be thankful for, I really can’t complain.