A Little Rest Is Good For The Soul

I love everything about the sea. The smell of fresh salt water, the sound of the crashing waves, the feelings of the warm breeze, the sand between my toes, and the taste of fresh seafood. Something about the beaches of Mozambique are exceptionally beautiful with an array of palm trees, clear water, white sand and an amazing culture. The Indian Ocean which borders Mozambique is warm enough to swim, even though it’s winter.

The purpose of my trip to East Africa was to see more of the country before I leave. The tour left from Johannesburg and went to Swaziland, Mozambique, Kruger National Park and then Back to Johannesburg in a total of two weeks.  I was traveling with 10 others who were my age and also traveling alone; for those two weeks we all became family. According to the tour guides not all the groups get along as well or became as close as our group did.

The villages of Mozambique seemed to be a lot more peaceful that the squatter camps of Jo’burg.  People live in straw huts in tiny villages. Many families have pigs and goats tied up nearby and donkeys are used to pull carriages. We passed crowded shops where people would carrying home live chickens and water buckets on their heads. We even passed a lady who was skinning a chicken for supper.  Our group found out quickly how corrupt the Mozambique police are. We were pulled over twice in a speed trap, but the speedometer they had was "broken" and read the same speed for everyone. Everybody was “speeding”. Once pulled over they would ask for your license and then tell you that if you wanted you license back you would have to pay them. Apparently there is not much to do in this situation other than pay them and they pocket the money. The police were standing outside laughing at they took everyone's money for themselves.

The highlight of the trip was when we took a sailboat trip to a beautiful Island where we went snorkeling. Apparently the Island is not visited by many people so it’s considered a 'sacred island.'

It was  wonderful seeing so many beautiful sights, crazy wild animals (including a lion in the wild) and being around many fun people. I came back feeling fresh, rejuvenated, and ready to go back to work at Refilwe.  It’s a good thing too because upon coming back there were a few tough situations to face.

Unlike the rest of Africa, South Africa does not have malnourished children. They may not always have a lot to eat, and it's not healthy but enough to keep from starving.  Very poor families can live off 'Pop' which is  basically like corn meal. It’s very cheap and has a lot of vitamins. There are no excuse for a little boy that Mama Julia found living with his parents in a township. He is 18 months but looks like he is about 5 or 6 months old. His body is retaining water so he cheeks are puffy and his stomach is sticking out so much it looks the size of a tennis ball. His skin is peeling and he has dark spots in various places on his body. His eyes are not properly developed and he has not started talking or crawling yet. His parents are always drunk and they forget to feed him properly so he is severely malnourished, to the point that if we didn’t find he would have been dead soon.  Julia says that the parents seem to be making an effort to feed him properly now that she is coming by everyday. The baby is still going to be taken to a hospital because his condition is so serious that he could become mentally handicapped.  Apparently after the baby is better they are going to return him back to the family, but unless the parent’s heal themselves from their addiction, I don’t think that’s the best choice for the child. They are incapable of caring for him at this point. It’s really sad seeing something that should have been prevented, and now this child is going to have to deal with the consciences of this for the rest of his life. He is already a year behind where he should  be and it might be too late for him to make a full recovery

Gone Overseas and It's Brought Me To My Knees

Gone Overseas and It’s Brought Me To My Knees

Gone overseas and it’s brought me to my knees,
Seen so  much hurting it’s really unnerving

Children living in shacks, poor mothers without any cash.
Drunk dads who mistreat and beat.
When parent’s drink the innocence of children shrink.
From one touch they grow up knowing too much

I know there is more to life because  Jesus paid the price.
He was the ultimate sacrifice.

She was walking alone and it wasn’t her choice, nobody could hear her voice.
Now she feels defiled and is about to have a child

He’s been around town and women think he’s a clown
Now he had HIV and feels he will never be free

The world had pain but it’s not in vain.
We nailed him to the cross to pay our cost.
A world that doesn’t care is not fair but regardless of what has been done,
His love will reach above.

All alone she gives birth feeling no self worth.
How can she care or her daughter when there is no father?
Without thinking twice she leaves her child alone with the mice.
Another unwanted kid who had to live and learn to forgive.


Disrespected and alone with no love shown, her wishes don’t matter when her husband's forcing  kisses
He shows her his power in the night hour
She hides her fright knowing what is going to happen tonight.


Jesus knows about pain because he was beaten to shame.
Rejected and alone he bled and hurt because of our dirt.
His blood cleanses away our mud.
He brings hope to help us cope.
He cares when nobody else dares
In our pain his love can be gained.

There is nothing to hid when we stand by his side.
His hands were pierced with nails, his love will never fail.
Grace covers our face regardless of how we’ve been a disgrace.

I fall on my knees saying please, show me how to love the way you’ve loved me.

I’ve gone overseas only to be brought to my knees.

Ashlee

Nobody Likes Inequality

 These past few days things have been getting better. There is another group here from Arkansas, and they have been really fun to hang around with. It's been so nice having company that understands! I would say that my time in South Africa goes up and down, but most days are looking up. SA is a really awesome country but it also faces many problems. Sometime I feel like I’ve gone back in time. Many of the issues that we have fought to change in America are still strong here today. Racism  still runs rampant here, the Apartheid only ended 21 years ago.  I was surprised to find out how recent this was, as racism laws in the Unites States ended way before I was born. Many of the white South Africans still view themselves as superior to the black Africans and don't always treat them with respect,( nobody at Refilwe of course).  It’s still very uncommon for whites and blacks to do things together, it’s an unspoken stigma. I remember on my first night here I was with Leah and Piet and the car tire went flat. We pulled over to fix it, when a lady came by and asked if Leah and I were okay because we were with a 'black boy'. Imagine her surprise when leah said "he's my husband!"

Another Issue here that I’ve noticed is the lack of respect for women. Although I do believe now that women have all the same rights as men,  they are still sometimes viewed as second class citizens, especially among the black South Africans, and especially in Johanneburg where sexual violence is ranked the highest in the world. Some of the men feel entitled. Even if it’s not to that extreme many of the African men still feel  they deserve to be treated a certain way, with no regard for how the women feels about it.

Despite the problems this country has. The people here are friendly and always ready to welcome you and accept you in. They have such a strong since of community and family.  People in America just pass by without even noticing the people around them. It's still sometimes a culture shock being in a place with massive poverty, when people in America deal with having too much, the more stuff they get the less happy they become. Every place has it's problems and issues and no country is perfect. Sometimes I do get upset with the way things are here and my heart does break for the people. It's really easy to complain about this or that when I've grown up with so much, never having to go without. Being here is about coming outside myself and really seeing what it's like for the people that live here. Even though it's not easy, I wouldn't have it any other way, this really is the best experience I could ever ask for.   

Mason

I have 4 more months left in SA, can I just come home now please? A part of me is entirely sick of this place. I’m tired of seeing suffering at every corner, fed up with women being regarded as second class and not being respected, sick of being stuck at Refilwe without my own car, and upset with the fact that I can’t even walk outside the gates alone. Something upsetting even took place this past week and I can feel it weighing me down. I do love SA, i'm just not feeling it at the moment.  A part of me just wants to run away, give up, and be done here, but I know that I can’t do that. I  must persevere even when things are difficult, but it's just so dang hard sometimes. Everything inside me is telling me to flee to the highest mountain, but I know that I can’t, and I won't. I can’t just give up when things are tough or when the enemy tries to stop me from fulfilling my purpose here. No matter how much I might want to; I can’t. Instead of giving up, I have to press on harder than before and not let any circumstance, no matter how angry it makes me, or how bad it might be, stop me from doing what I need to while I’m here.  Ugh. 

I remember a story I read on the news about a dog named Mason. Mason is  from Alabama and he got carried away in a horrible twister that destroyed his family’s house The family thought the dog had died, they looked everywhere for him with no success and he had been missing for 2 weeks.  Then, one day, they went back to their ruined house and saw their puppy dog waiting for them by the door. The dog’s two front legs were broken. Mason had crawled his way back to his family. Thinking of this story has really inspired me through this rough patch. Despite Mason’s unfair circumstances he didn’t give up. He fought through the pain of his broken legs, the freezing cold temperatures. and the exhaustion in order to achieve his purpose, which was finding his family. I’m sure he wondered ' Is this really worth it? Laying here to die would be so much easier!'  Maybe he thought his efforts were pointless, but still he pressed on. In the end it was worth it for Mason. Exhausted and famished he found his way to his family’s doorstep. I’m sure when he saw their smiling faces, all the work he put into getting home was worth it. He is now back with his family and when he recovers he will be stronger than ever. I think Mason can teach us a few things about perseverance and never giving up.. I know he has taught me.

Rainbow Nation

 I want to thank everyone who has been reading my blogs. Your comments  and many more emails have been really encouraging to me. It's nice to know that I have people who are willing to go along on this journey with me. 

Some of the Kids during movie night

I'm  sitting here enjoying a nice glass of wine with my roommate at a lodge down the road from Refilwe, we have been here a few hours and we both don’t want to go back, just yet.  My roommate came to Africa a month and a half after I did, and I wasn't sure how it was going to be living with an older lady. She is 67 years old. Honestly, at first, I was not thrilled with the idea. It’s not that I have anything against older people it’s just that living with them, well….. that's a different story. Part of my concern came with the fact that I love having the children/youth and friends over to my place for movie and game nights and I was afraid she wouldn’t be okay with this. What I have previously known of older people is that they like to go to bed early.  I could just picture her saying "No company past 6:00pm, no exceptions!"  But I was wrong, very wrong. I've been living with her 7 weeks now and she stays up later than I do, cooks delicious food, welcomes any company that I have, and is becoming a good friend of mine. As much as I hate stereotypes I  guess I do fall guilty of them from time to time.

 This past weekend I went to Africa Abalze to help Leah and Piet with a career camp during the weekend. Even though I’m now exhausted I’m glade I was at the camp. An organization sponsored a 100 teenagers from rural areas to come to the camp. We had guest speakers come in to talk about their definition of success.  For most of these kids it was a great opportunity for them as many of them were encouraged to never give up regardless of the hardships that come their way. Many of these kids come from backgrounds of poverty and broken families and they realized that it is up to them to make a change to do things differently for their future and their future families. Some of the things that were taught were to never give up, don’t let hardships stop you from pursuing your goals, and to get anywhere in life we need to be able to work hard. I think that these teenagers left encouraged and excited for their future.

Making Worm Tea

Things at Refilwe are going very well. We have a YWAM group that is here for a few weeks and it’s been nice having them around. The projects that we have been working on around Refilwe are the Worm Farm and the Tree Nursery. Refilwe sells the worm tea as fertilizer in hopes that they can become self sufficient. Previously Refilwe was relying on donations but because of the declining economy they are coming up with ways of making income for their ministry. I have really enjoyed doing work outside in the worm farm and tree nursery and it’s nice to have a break from people.

I now have an African name that people are starting to call me. It’s Lerato which means love.  They wanted to give me an African name because they say that 'even though i'm white on the outside i'm African on the inside.'

 Oh Africa, I only have 4 more months left in this wonderful country but the things that i'm learning and the growth that is happening I hope will last a lifetime. In the future I know that short term missions will be a part of my life and that I hopefully will get to travel to different parts of the world, but living in a different country is an opportunity that I might never get again.  I love traveling and living in different countries and experiencing their culture.  I’m thankful that God has given me this chance to live with the people of Africa.  

Being here has made me realize the important things in life and what I want from it.  It’s interesting how going 10,000 miles away really shows you who your true friends are, the ones who are still there to encourage you and support you in your decision, and sometimes even the friendships that matter draw closer. "Side by side or miles apart, true friends stay close to your heart.” 

On the Rise

“The Lord has become my fortress, and my God is the rock in whom I take refuge.” Psalm 94:22

South Africa. The land of brokenness, miracles, and natural beauty. The land with hurting people, where time slows down, where “love your neighbor” reigns. The land where God's love and beauty is reveled.

Being here at this point in my life is the best thing I could ask for. It's a time for reflection and growth. Two months ago I had no idea what to expect coming to South Africa.  I had no idea I would get homesick and want to take that horribly long flight back home. I never expected to learn things about myself I never knew. I thought this trip was about helping others, but in turn it’s been helping me.

God is molding and shaping me. I know this is my time away from my family, my  friends and my life to figure a few things out and to become everything God has created me for. I sometimes feel a since of restlessness because my time in South Africa is going by so fast and I don’t want to waist any time while I’m here. I’ve found things in myself I want to change and things that I like and want to do more of.  I also find myself feeling restless for the future. Since I’ve been in South Africa I’ve discovered that I would love to adopt a child from a 3^rd world country along with having a few of my own, that I want to work in ministry, and that I want to learn to speak Spanish fluently. 

In my restlessness I’m reminded of Psalm 25:5

“Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; For you I wait all day.”

 I know when restlessness creeps up on me I need to be patient and to wait on God. I need to wait on him to lead me, to teach me, and to guide me. Sometimes in our stillness we learn the most. We learn to trust God and to be content with the unknown. We don’t have to have all the answers because after all we are not the ones in control. 

Kittens

4/28
The other day there was a baby kitten that was meowing outside my house. The neighbors found him.  He was only a few weeks old and was abandoned by it’s mother. What can I say? I love animals so I couldn't just let it die! So I took it in. It's now doing really well and is going to survive. Tonight I found another baby kitten that was nearly dead. I rushed him to the neighbors house and they gave me a bottle and some kitten formula. The little kitten wasn't swallowing and he has no energy at all. I spent hours warming him up and attempting to feed him a little. After a while it seemed he was getting better, he was lifting his head and meowing. I held him close hoping he would survive and keep warm. After an hour he wasn't moving as much. As soon as I went to the kitchen to get water he started meowing loudly. I went back and he was dead.  I was so shocked and upset, it really seemed like he was getting better, but it was too late. It doesn’t seem fair, but life isn’t always fair. I’m emotionally drained and exhausted from putting all of my energy into trying to save this little thing.  At least he wasn't alone for the last few hours of his little life.

Life is like that. It’s full of disappointments and failures but it’s how we deal with those disappointments that matter.  We can sulk in self pity and complain that life is hard and that things never work out for us, or we can accept what comes our way, even if it’s not what we wanted. After all, it’s during the hard times that we grow and learn the most. Tomorrow morning I will bury my kitten.

Today one of the site workers at Refilwe found another kitten, probably from the same litter. He was feeding it regular milk, which is bad for kittens.  He asked me to take. Of course I couldn't say no, I would hate for it to die. I think I've already found a home for her but I will be watching her until she goes to her new home. So i'm babysitting a little kitten, and it's like taking care of a little baby, she keeps me up at night and she is hungry every few hours. Every time I put her down she looks at me and meows for me to pick her up. It's difficult getting anything done while i'm holding her, which is all the time, so I came up with a solution to this. I tied her to my stomach with a towel. African ladies tie their babies against their back with a towel, so I thought I would give it a try, and it works great. She seems really content being there. Those African ladies know what's up!

Here is a tired picture of me with my adopted baby.